Who Writes the Songs?

I know a lot of songs.

Rock songs. Blues songs. Jazz tunes.

Hundreds of them.

I'm not talking about just sort of knowing the songs. I know them: I know the arrangements; I know the lyrics; I know the guitar licks and horn lines; I know when to take it to the bridge (if there's a bridge for it to be taken to.)

When you do work as a sideman, you gotta know tunes.

Some cats, when you call out a certain tune, they just say something like, "Yeah, I think I remember that one. What key is is in?" That's usually code for, "No, not really, but I'll give it a whirl because, you know, I've heard the song dozens and hundreds of times, but I've never really sat down and played it."

They might even actually have a copy of the song somewhere.

Then the song, generally, proceeds to get butchered.

Now when I say butchered, I don't mean like a full blown train wreck (although that still happens too, some times.) I mean that it's just not played right. And when you're not playing it right, that means that you're playing it wrong.
Born Under a Bad Sign (Albert King) is one of the most wrongly played blues tunes out there that I can think of. It's also a song that just about everybody "knows". When you call that tune, and someone asks what key, they actually mean it, oddly enough. There certainly won't be anything even close to a train wreck. But when it's (inevitably, usually) played incorrectly, the band is usually (inevitably) unaware.

Because they probably never really listened to Albert King's version of it. They've only heard the version(s) that are played live on stage night after night.

The song works, sure. It might have even been a stellar performance. But when you play a song wrong, it's still wrong.

Which still means not right.

The audience usually is unaware of these type of things, hardcore audiophiles notwithstanding (are there any, anymore? just asking.) Maybe that's how some cats justify not learning how to really play tunes correctly. Even when they've flubbed a song the night before, and they know it will be called again tonight, they generally don't seem to take the time to listen to the song.

Did I mention that musicians have big egos? Especially us pros. We don't like to be told how to play, yours truly included.

However, for those of you out there who are getting their feathers ruffled a little bit as you read this little nugget (guilty as charged, I suppose,) let me just remind you that there's this great new invention called the Internet. A quick search will allow you to listen to just about anything you want to hear right now without ever having to leave the house.

If not for the sake of personal pride, then know this: learning tunes will make your job as a player that much easier. It won't be as much work, so to speak (we're all used to not much work, eh?) You'll be able to have more fun, as a result, which is why we do this in the first place, really.

Is that why we do it?

When you really know the tunes, then you can really play. It frees you up and allows you to make full use of your vocabulary. Ultimately, it makes you a better player all around. You don't have the crutch (see excuse) of not having a copy of the tune.

Listen to it. Learn it.

A large repertoire is a life's work.

So it goes...

Short Burst Series- Idol Insult to Injury

I wrote very briefly last week about American Idol, and the fact that it propels amateur (karaoke) singers into the stratosphere of the music biz, leaving the REAL musicians shaking their heads as we continue to scratch out a living.

Today, I read in some trashy magazine that Simon Cowell, the real star of the show, collects a cool $36 million per season. He also makes 10 million (British Pounds) as the emcee and chief jerk for "Britain's Got Talent".

He also has his own record company, Syco, which signs the shows' "artists" (how convenient.) That nets him another cool $12 million.

I knew American Idol was huge, but not like that. And he's just one of the judges. How much do the others, Randy and Paula and the other lady, get to find the winning "artist?"

I'm guessing it's more than "50 bucks and a chicken sandwich."

So it goes...

(In)Security Check- Flying to Gigs

I was in Albany, New York, this weekend for a gig. The group was flown in for it.

I fly quite regularly being on the road with Lonnie Brooks. At this point, I'm an expert in dealing with all of the b.s. and hassle that is now required for air travel in the U.S.

Flying used to be fun, by the way. Especially for gigs. But not so much anymore.

So paranoid are we. When I say we, I mean America. For some reason, after 9/11 (which, I still say, had to have been an inside job. Box cutters? C'mon), we were hoodwinked to believe that we needed this illusion of security. Take off your shoes (rarely do you have to do this in countries outside of the U.S.), take your computer out, take the stick bag out and open it, make sure your shaving cream is in a ziploc bag, no water or coffee or sodapop allowed (that you haven't bought in the secure area at the airport, that is), yadda-blah-alright-already.

We can carry lighters again, though. I've already had my party to celebrate that one. Sorry if you missed it.

Today I had to go through the blower machine that tests for chemicals or fertilizer or explosives or something. Maybe dog doo. Who knows. Funny, but I was the only fool that was "randomly" selected (yet again) to stand in "the pod". I actually asked a TSA person why I was the only one to go through it (always risky to talk to them. You could easily be arrested and probably water boarded) and she said that it was just random, of course. But if I was the only person to go through, that means everyone else didn't.

Or no one else did. Whichever you prefer. The glass is half empty or half full. Pick one.

Anyways,the TSA agent said they didn't have time to do it to, with, or for (whichever you prefer) everyone. Planes gotta be on time, you know, and time is money, which obviously trumps security.

You've heard about the economy not being so healthy these days?

Speaking of the economy, you have the option of paying some membership fee (congratulations, you're a Member) with the airline (that's a private company, right?) so that you can have a quicker, more convenient security soiree. You know, just sign here, give us a fingerprint and retinal scan, and, of course, pay up sucker.

The (no frills) airline I flew today also includes a free (huh?) drink in their membership "package."

So, to summarize, I was the only person out of several dozen, if not a hundred, people who had to stand in some machine (likely with a very, very steep price tag) to be probed in whatever way I was probed (at least I didn't feel anything) so that everyone was able to feel secure and be on time. The performance by the TSA was compelling and impressive at the same time.

Applause, applause.

The Members might have appreciated it most of all.

So it goes...